Mum’s night out in 6 easy steps

Six signs of a great Mum night out

1. You planned (and planned)

A Mum night out brings a whole new meaning to ‘organisation’. Whilst leaving the house at any time requires the precision and fore-thought of a military operation, a night out takes things to a whole new level. Ordinarily you may need to check the baby bag for nappies, spare clothes, food, dummies, waterproofs, sun cream (you never know), woolly hat (more likely), toys, wipes, jacket, blanket – but a night out, well that is in a league of its own.

This stealth operation was planned for weeks – in fact months in advance. It was the only night all 8 of you were free in a 4 month period and it has been discussed on a what’s app thread every day since. The chat has to be regularly wiped as the hundreds of messages within it take up too much memory in your phone. You have to decide where to go, what to wear – can you get away with leggings???,  which shoes – you know you won’t last all night in those heels that have been in the back of the wardrobe since early 2014. Most importantly is the plan as to how you will get out of the house – like removing a plaster it can be painful, but best done quickly.

2. You drank (and drank)

You left the house focussed on G&T and the virtues of clear spirits leading to a hangover free morning. However. You chose to forget the effect of jäger and made a shot of it your first drink of the night. The rest of the night was powered by bubbles which at one point you drank straight from the bottle. And spilt. Several times.

3. You charmed (and gate-crashed)

You invented the #Mumbomb whereby you arrive at destination only to discover that all the huge booths are taken. You see one empty looking area with sofas, seats, space for dancing. You go over but are told it’s a reserved area. And then comes the #Mumbomb – a member of your tribe manages to sweet-talk the keeper of the gate and 10 mins later when a group clear off, you get to go in. #Mumbomb straight into VIP

4. You danced (and danced, and danced)

You danced on the tables. You Mum-danced on the tables. You decided this was extreme-Mum-dancing and you also decided that up there, arms flailing, booze spilling, haplessly smiling, precariously balancing, you know you would give Debbie Harry a run for her money.

5. You have a momento (or 4)

You woke up with a stack of photo booth pics in your bag. You don’t remember the cowboy hat or the blow up cactus but you look like you were having a good time. You also have a pillow smeared with mascara and a taste of cheesy chips on your dry tongue that feels like a leaf in your stinky mouth.

6. You laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed til it hurt.

 

 

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Push for prosecco available at Albert Schloss Manchester – and they let you dance on the tables 😉

 

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